God is amazing and His ways are far far far, different from ours. Different to understand and different to fathom. But He certainly does not make life more complicated; He makes it easier.
I just wondered about what I was going through a while back, and I remember my sister telling me that it is “seasons”. That they will come and go. I did not totally understand back then where exactly I was in life because I had never been there before.
I have been single, I have been married, I have been divorced but something that time round was shaking me a little bit, and that was the thought of being single again. It really frightened me because I was not going down the dating route once more and all that came with it.
That’s when it hit me that I am a widow and when that definition sank into my spirit I felt a calm come over me.
See, the difference between being single and a widow is that when you define yourself as a widow, it stops a lot of questions right there. But when you tell somebody you are single, a lot of thoughts run through their minds. They do not know whether you are single dating, or single looking, you know?
Thinking about it, I guess that also is what bothered me. I was going on a lunch date dressed to kill and my date well, let’s just say wasn’t. This was off-putting to me and it was then that I realized that I wasn’t interested or looking at anyone in that way.
Do you know what also took me down the spiral road of dwelling, it’s that that moment had thoughts wrapped around my beloved Walter and the things that we used to do together. But I had to learn to put it into perspective and when I went for my thought-provoking walk that day, the Spirit of God reminded me that He is the God of the living. Not that He wants us to forget the dead, no, He just does not want us to dwell there because remembering is not dwelling.
If you are gonna go into a path where you dwell then you are thinking too much about it, and you are thinking for several minutes or several hours or several days, which leads to you dwelling on it. That dwelling, friends, is dangerous if you are not dwelling in the right place.
The word says:
He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. - Psalm 91:1 KJV
So that is where we are supposed to dwell, in the shadow of the Almighty.
You can remember your loved ones, there is nothing wrong with that. I can remember my mum or husband, there is nothing wrong with that. But you know, there is no hope nor relief either in spiraling because the dead are dead and that is why there is a boundary between them and the living and we all know that God is the God of the living.
So I learned the difference between remembering and dwelling and the Bible says, think on these things; are they worthy of thinking about? Are they true? Are they pure? Are they beautiful?
To me, remembering and thinking are like a tap; you can turn them on and off really. It is at our will, but when we turn the tap on and we leave it running, we have to bear the consequences.
I am in a happy place today and I can think, vocalize these thoughts and just realize that our lives are full of seasons. We are born, we live, we do things, then we die. We have to go through each stage with grace because our lives speak.
So you ask yourself: Are they speaking of God’s goodness? Are they speaking of God’s grace? Are they speaking of God’s mercy? Are they speaking things people wanna hear and have hope for or are they speaking doom?
The difference between living a full life and living a depressed life is how we allow the thought pattern in our lives to go.
I thank God for my family. I have many family members who just steer me right, who have gone through stuff that I haven’t gone through and I thank God that for this season of my life when I can be a book for others to read.
One thing I have learned is the power of choice and who has control to steer my thoughts and that is me. God plants us in families so we don’t have to do life alone. Friends come our way too, we still have a choice about who we keep close. Some people just like to dwell in the past or morbid stuff reminding you of where you have been; it is as if they don’t want you to move forward, choose wisely and decide where you want to dwell. I love the following scripture:
Isaiah 26:3-4:
Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee. Trust ye in the LORD for ever: for in the LORD JEHOVAH is everlasting strength:
When I feel my strength going down I examine my thoughts and do the necessary shift. I recently heard the following statement that is so poignant and true:-
One has no control over yesterday, it is gone, how one lives today can create a better tomorrow. Put remembrance in perspective, choose where your mind should linger.
Here is a short prayer:
Father be with me.
Amen.