It was a wonderful day one Wednesday in 2020 when my cup was so full!
That morning, I was hearing about conflict. That conflict is good and necessary, but how they are received or resolved depends on a few things, and the overall outcome.
First of all, the reason why conflict comes is because we are unique and have differences. What compounds the negativity in conflicts is that we might be carrying wounds in our souls. If and when we have been wounded in our soul may cause us to be cautious and protective (C&P).
C&P is perfectly okay but there is a downside that can ensue if the root cause is not checked and healed. If one finds they are not able to have a healthy conflict resolution, it is good to go to the Healer, Jesus, for He is the Healer and Restorer of our soul. Healing for our souls is readily available in Jesus because He was wounded for us to be whole. My advice is just to take it by faith.
Isaiah 53:4 says:
But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes, we are healed.
I have experienced what I am talking about here. I went through a divorce and for a long time, anytime the divorce word came up I experienced discomfort in my mind and my body. I would view every criticism negatively and personally. I would feel the need to defend myself all the time but the above scripture has worked wonders for me.
At first, I would confess it out of fear but as time has passed, I learned to take it at its face value and believe it. When I have a need for healing I open the bible and put my eyes on it and take it in. Once I have taken it, I believe by faith it is done and I just give thanks.
I am in a good place now. I no longer take it personally even when someone unknowingly says something derogatory about divorce. I am also in a secure place knowing who I am in God which helps me avoid vain arguments and lashing back when criticized. I listen and put it in the limelight of God’s word.
Yes, it is possible to have a healthy disagreement and all one has to remember is that when words are spoken, they are building blocks that can add or reduce to ones experience. You are the director of the outcome of those words that are directed at you and God the Executive Producer has already declared that you are fearfully made. Anything outside of that you don’t receive and allow to permeate your soul. You can reverse, refuse and declare with God what He has already said about you. You can declare, “ I am a peaceful person.”
Don’t allow negativity or the past to dictate how you resolve current issues.
Fot example, did you know the way conflict lands is very different from when they land when we are healed? It is important every now and then, to do a soul search and expose any wounds that are in our souls to the blood of Jesus so that we can respond from a place of love.
The way I received it that morning was because Jesus said that the things that are going to offend, are going to come. Life is not just roses, there are things that are going to offend. But there are two scriptures that always ring into my mind.
One, that I think you may be familiar with:
“I have told you these things so that you can have peace in me. In this world, you will have troubles. But be brave! I have defeated the world!” – John 16:33
We are overcomers, and that means that when conflicts come, we can overcome them. Also, we can resolve them without bitterness or without creating more wounds or wounding each other. But most importantly, the reason we need to resolve and stay away from conflicts is because the bible says that things that will offend will come! But woe unto him who keeps offense.
So you see here, the person who has been wounded is not really at fault, but the one who is keeping offense is.
It is important to resolve conflicts and to resolve them from a healed point so that there is a good understanding. We need to strive to understand where others are coming from because sometimes, we do not understand where somebody is at, what they are going through, or where they are at any given time. Without this knowledge, we may approach them in a way that can be so forceful that it even makes the situation worse, but we can hold on to the word for it encourages us to endeavor to live at peace with everyone.
So working out the peace, and working out a good work environment is not only our duty but it is our prerogative. We are called to be ambassadors of peace and I kind of feel guilty about conflict too when it arises, but the Lord assured me that it is okay and it’s a part of life. How I respond is what matters.
In my journey, I have found that this all boils down to how filled my cup is. If I am full of God and I am full of the Holy Spirit, it will land so different from when my cup is half empty and this takes me back to John 15:5:
“I am the vine, and you are the branches. If you stay joined to me, and I to you, you will produce plenty of fruit. But separated from me you won’t be able to do anything.”
He keeps us pruned so that we may bear fruit and when we bear fruit, He prunes us some more but “apart from me, you can do nothing”. So anything that I do, anything that we do, it goes back to the glory of God. It goes back to Calvary.
We are who we are because of Him. We are more than conquerors because of Him. So may God receive all the glory for anything that we do that is worthy of praise. Conflict resolution is important; it is necessary and indeed, it is a work in progress.
So my take-home from this:
Remember, each conflict comes with a different workbook, so we have to listen some more on how to resolve each and every one of them. At the end of it all, my God be glorified in our interactions and in our conflict resolutions, may we be determined to put in a good fight, and FIGHT FAIR, be committed to listening, and be slow to speak. Hallelujah! Amen.
May God be gloried indeed amen